The Bombproof Marriage Myth 

Marriages and Long Term Relationships usually take advantage of the honeymoon stage in their initial formation.

The honeymoon stage is characterized by a feeling of well-being and physical desire for each other. This feeling is intense, with all the newness and excitement stimulated by the production of chemicals in your bodies that increase energy and positive attitudes as well as heighten sexuality and sensuality. It is common for couples in this stage to commit to each other permanently.

The chemical reactions during this stage are very real and quite often referenced by scientists as another reason that new couples so often ignore warning signs about one another and their possible long term conflicts.

One of the often cited traditional ways in which society judges a relationship is whether or not it can withstand great conflicts or trauma. Often, once a couple has successfully navigated a traumatic event, they consider themselves and their relationship to be “bombproof.”

Dana said:

Susan and I each lost a parent while we were dating. We helped each other through that horrible time in our lives and found the strength the support ourselves and our relationship. We thought that, if we could get through that together, we could get through anything. After being married for 5 years, though, it was the little things that were driving us apart. Chores, finances, even paint color for the walls. We fought about it all

Sometime, traumatic events early on in a relationship can also take advantage of the honeymoon stage and create a false expectation of perfection in a relationship.

Just because your marriage has proven to not be as resilient as you first believed, it doesn’t mean it is a failure. Take the initiative and look into marriage counseling and find that strength and support you once had.

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