When the D Word is used Too Often
Most of us say things that we don’t mean in the heat of an argument, even though we are all aware of the power that words have to hurt and scar. In the early days of a marriage there is usually still a hazy and warm environment of love. This environment helps shield new couples from the more difficult and occasionally ugly facets of a relationship. At one point or another, however, the reality of the relationship and all of its shortcomings and miracles come into a clearer focus. As faults and habits take on a razor-sharp clarity in the psyche of each spouse, the language used in arguing also takes on a sharper edge. For some couples, this means that the “D” word is brought up in the course of a regular, typical argument and not in a situation that warrants the calm discussion on the future of the marriage.
Words Hurt
When couples begin to habitually mention the “D” word in their arguments, the damage this causes is on many levels. Firstly, when it is one spouse continually saying it, it creates and atmosphere of anxiety and fear. Because it isn’t followed through on, it is essentially being used as a threat. Threats have no place in an adult marriage.
Desensitizing
Another way that the habitual use of the “D” word during arguments is damaging is the eventual desensitizing effect that is created. Used enough, even the most horrifying words eventually fail to have a real effect. The word takes on the meaning of just another hurtful phrase during an argument.
Marriage Counseling is one way to help you stop threatening and start healing.
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Commitment involves a focus on a successful future, rather than giving up at each sign of trouble. In our fast-food, immediate-gratification society, this is sometimes a difficult concept to implement,