Asking for Help Can be the Hardest Part
Starting the counseling process is never easy. We usually encounter many internal roadblocks. There is often a sense of “I can take care of this myself” pride. Somehow we feel like failures for even thinking we need therapy. Shame can prevail but meanwhile, the problems continue.
One element that most people don’t understand about therapy is that you are still “taking care of it yourself.” A therapist serves as a guide, not a fixer. Ultimately, you and/or your spouse are still responsible for progress that occurs.
If you are married and experiencing difficulty, couples counseling may be an option for you but not your spouse. Many people will say “I’m interested but he’ll never go.” In this case, individual therapy may be ideal for you. If you are open and receptive to self-exploration and change, then you can begin the process there. Some people argue “but how can things get better? He’s not doing anything!” Well, change begins from within and many times, when we are in enmeshed emotional situations, the best we can do is focus on ourselves.
If your spouse is interested in attending marriage counseling, then bravo! You’re off to a good start. Two willing parties means a higher likelihood of success. Some choose to undergo individual therapy while they attend couples counseling. This is also a great reinforcement and gives you sometime to solely focus on yourself.
Whatever the case, therapy is treatment and nothing to be ashamed of. Once you begin experiencing the freedom from cyclical patterns that have made you feel stuck and frustrated, you realize that asking for help was one of the best choices you can make for yourself and your loved one.
