Making Room for Couples Counseling at Home
A common phenomenon that occurs in couples counselor is this: couples do the work that’s needed with the counselor but once they leave, they find it more difficult to incorporate the work into their home lives.
Suzanne felt this way:
It was tough for the first few months. Eric and I couldn’t figure out why couples counseling wasn’t really working for us. Then the counselor pointed out that we weren’t making room for some of the changes at home. And I knew he was right.
Eric and both started a business last year. So once we leave counseling, we run home to see what’s going on. There’s always some sort of emergency, some fire to tend to. Thing is, our marriage was becoming an emergency…one we were ignoring.
After some time, we started using what we learning in marriage counseling, instead of forgetting all about it. It became more habitual. But its kind of a waste of money and time if you don’t try the techniques you’re learning with your counselor.
Therapy is ultimately more than a professional talk with a counselor about your marriage. Its about making change and practicing those changes until it becomes more ingrained. In the case of Suzanne and Eric, even though their business seemed to constantly have a “fire” going, they began to recognize the importance of tending to themselves first.
As a team, Eric and Suzanne were much more successful in problem-solving and soon, those work-related “fires” became less and less, as their business began to prosper as well as their marriage.
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